


Pumpkin slush and vampiric glitter poop

by DieLadi



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Halloween, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:28:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27405046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DieLadi/pseuds/DieLadi
Summary: On the morning of their wedding, John tells Sherlock about last Halloween... more weird than scary.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Kudos: 10





	Pumpkin slush and vampiric glitter poop

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Kürbismatsch und vampirische Glitzerkacke](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13988823) by [DieLadi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DieLadi/pseuds/DieLadi). 



> This is a translation to my german story "Kürbismatsch und vampirische Glitzerkacke", which you can find here on AO3. Please be aware that english is not my first language.

"Say, John," Sherlock said as he tied his tie.  
"I'm surprised that my dear brother Mycroft hasn't had a 'break his heart, and I'll break your neck and make your body disappear so that no-one will ever find it' conversation with you. This is unusual for him."  
John, the man who had just attached the cufflinks to his shirt sleeves, and who in less than two hours would no longer be his fiancé but his husband, smiled.

Then he looked at Sherlock.  
"Who says he didn't?"  
Sherlock looked at him questioningly.  
"So did he?"  
John nodded.

"Do you remember," he said, "last Halloween?"  
Sherlock nodded. "I was in Cornwall for a few days, working on a case."  
He gave John a gentle kiss on the forehead.  
"Missed you very much, Captain Watson."  
And he let his hands slide over John's back and his behind.  
"Don't do that, or I'll have to take off your wedding suit again..." John whispered.  
Sherlock giggled and let go of his fiancé.

"Anyway," John went on, after he had recatured the thought, "do you also remember that to take my mind off the fact that I missed you too, I had a Halloween party. To which your brother was also invited."  
"...to which he did not appear," added the black-haired detective.  
"Well," John reluctantly said, "I may not have been telling the whole truth."

He smiled.  
"You remember the menu I served that evening? I had already told everyone in the invitation what was going to be served. However, in the menu sent to your brother, I entitled the dishes quite normally what they were: Creamy pumpkin soup, rib roast with roast potatoes and vegetables, and for dessert, chocolate pudding. Well, I just didn't have the guts to tease your stiff brother..."  
Sherlock smiled.  
He remembered well what John had written on the other invitations. He showed it to him afterwards. It said "pumpkin slush, braised zombie ribs and root vegetables from the grave, and vampire poop for dessert."

John went on.  
"I can cook pretty good, you know, but a three-course meal for about ten people, that's a lot of work. So Molly had agreed to help me. Well, Molly loves all those Twilight stories where the vampires sparkle. And when we finally prepared the pudding and filled it into little bowls, a little discussion arose about whether their excrements shouldn't glitter too, and whether she shouldn't quickly run to Tesco again, where there's edible glitter in the baking department..."

The look Sherlock was giving him at that moment could have been sold for a lot of money.  
"You're joking, John!"  
John laughed.  
"So, anyway, she and I were having a conversation about vampiric glitter poop, when your brother was the first guest in the flat. He didn't bother to knock, he just stood in the room. And guess what he was dressed up as?"  
Sherlock shrugged his shoulders questioningly.

"As Dracula!"

They looked at each other and then they started to snort.  
It was a moment when neither of them would have been able to turn away the flash of laughter, even if their lives depended on it. They laughed tears and finally needed some tissues to bring their eyes and noses back to normal.

When they had calmed down somewhat, John continued.  
"I must admit he looked great. Pale in color with blood-red lips and pointy teeth. His hair blackened and gelled back. A close-fitting black suit and a fluttering cape. It was black on the outside and blood-red on the inside. It was an impressive costume. I didn't even think he was up to it."  
He knocked an imaginary dusting off his lapel.

"I don't think he wanted to come in the first place. He only got over it because he actually wanted to have the conversation with me. Hurt him and I'll make the world believe you never existed."  
"He said that?"  
"No, in fact, he told me to take a good look at his pointy teeth. If I ever hurt you, a real vampire would actually be the lesser of two evils that could happen to me."  
"I'm afraid you'd better believe him," Sherlock said.  
"I do," John said.

Then he smiled again.  
"He stayed for dinner, and he liked it, just... I think he resented me a bit about dessert. I had the food laid out as a buffet and I'd written a sign for each course. And I changed the sign for dessert. It now read, "Mycroft's Excrements". I think he was angry."

They started laughing again.  
Sherlock kept gazing at John.  
His John.  
Who put up with him so much, that he was marrying him today, and who even stood up to his brother.  
Yeah, John was definitely the one.  
He was happy and looked forward to every single day that the future would bring.


End file.
